I Wanna Dance With Dragons!

I just finished A Dance With Dragons by George R.R. Martin and while I’m super sad that I have to wait for the next book to come out, I’m also glad because now I’m all caught up and can theorize with the rest of the Game of Thrones fans. Seriously, I need to know who John’s momma is!

Even though I really enjoyed this book, I was left with the feeling that not a lot happened but I’m going to attribute that to the way the book was structured, ie: ADWD picks up where A Feast For Crows left and runs simultaneously with it. That being said the stuff that did happen was awesome!
(Plan on many SPOILERS in the text below, that means you Jen!)

You have been warned:
John Snow: The last we saw of everyone’s beloved crow he had just been made Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch and was saved from a wilding attack by King (one of the many) Stannis. Now normally I dread reading John’s chapters (gasp!) and it’s not because I don’t like his character it’s just that I always feel so god awful for this poor boy who gave up everything to defend the realm’s largest cock block and all because he’s a bastard (or is he?). But this book brought about some big changes and I really looked forward to his chapters! After Ramsey Bolton, believing John helped his bride, the fake Arya, escape, threatens John and flays some wildlings John has finally decided to cast aside his vows and help rid the North of Bolton. Finally! I have been waiting for John to leave that stupid wall for foreva and now he finally is. Or was. Slight hiccup, when he told his men and the wildlings his plans some were very supportive and others kind of stabbed him. A lot. So we’re left with a dying John and his smoking wounds lying on the snow at the wall. Some cliffhanger and the worst part is you can’t comfort yourself with the whole “Georgey would never kill him off” because let’s face it who saw Ned Stark getting his head cut off?
Daenerys Targaryen: She pissed me off so much in this book. So her story goes something like this: Captures Mereen and sets the slaves free, turns down the offer of a bunch of ships to take her to Westeros, and continues sitting in Mereen ruling as their queen. She then marries a local because the masters of Mereen are pretty pissed at her (join the club) for freeing the slaves and she needs something to bring everyone together. Shortly after her wedding, one of her dragons attacks someone and in order to stop the mob from slaying him she tries to tame him and ends up riding away with him . . . where she promptly gets dropped off in the middle of nowhere and the last we see of her she runs into her sun and stars’ old Khlalsar who probably aren’t going to be super pleased to see her.
Seriously, that took up her whole portion of the book and the entire time I was reading her chapters I just wanted to shake her. I mean why isn’t she headed to Westeros to reclaim her freaking kingdom? Her dragons are big enough to ride now, she has a freaking army of unsullied and sellswords, and the Kingdom is ripe for the taking. And I get it she’s super young and tired of all this moving and fighting but she just needs to buck the fuck up, she’s Daenerys Stormborn of House of Targygeran for crying out loud.
Tyrion Lannister: My poor giant of Lannister has had a really tough go of it ever since he was convicted of murdering his nephew/king and then killing his dad and Shae. After successfully rescuing Tyrion from the executioners blade Varys, with Jamie’s help,  plans to send him east to Dany. Unfortunately, that didn’t quite work out because Jorah Mormont captured him and then together they were both captured and sold as slaves. My poor heart was so sad for him and I hated reading about his humiliations. And trust me, without the power of the Lannisters behind him there were many. Hopefully, in the next book, he’ll be able to return to Westeros as Lord of Castlery Rock soon. Here’s to hoping!
Theon Greyjoy: Let me start by explaining that I hated this man, who betrayed the Starks, with a passion and luckily, I didn’t have to hear about him for two whole books. A co-worker, who shares my love for Games, told me to just wait until book five when Theon gets what’s coming to him, you’ll probably feel bad for him. Psshhh is what I said, never in a million years would I feel bad for Theon. Well, turns out he was right, I do feel bad for Theon and I know this is going to sound crazy but I might even be starting to like his character. Crazy right? You don’t have to answer that because I know how it sounds, I mean the man betrayed Robb! Well, here’s the thing, my puny little mind couldn’t even fathom a punishment that would be enough for Theon. Georgey on the other hand, whose imagination is apparently limitless, created a scenario in which I pitied Theon and even wanted things to start going right for him. And while I’m not going to describe the particular hell he went through because it was so intense to read that I don’t want to spoil it for anyone. Just know it’s horrifying.
Okay, so those were the stories of the main characters and here are some other crazy tidbits that happened: Davos, and Lord Wyman Manderly, suspect Bran and Rickon are alive and now Davos is headed to some scary ass place to find them. Bran found the three eyed crow beyond the wall, and the last children of the forest, but instead of fixing his legs, like Bran thought he would, the three eyed crow is helping him to change skins with the world around him. This isn’t as exciting as it sounds because Bran is probably going to have to spend his life in a cave becoming one with a tree. Small price to pay, eh? Arya has her sight back (Thank God!) and is on her way to becoming one bad ass assassin. Oh and let’s not forget Jamie! He officially turned his back on Cersei (YES!) and is headed off with Brienne, who has claimed to have found Sansa, who might be getting ready to kill him. And the biggest revelation . . . Aegon, Rheagar’s son (you know the one that supposedly had his bashed as an infant?), is alive. Let that sink in for a minute. Varys and the Mad King’s exiled hand, John Connington, have been keeping him safe and raising him to reclaim the throne.  And yeah that’s about it.
Oh, and the coolest news ever? Georgey himself is heading to Missoula, Montana and my momma is going to see him! I’m so excited for her and I have begged her to tell Martin how in love I am with Jamie because if anyone will appreciate my love for that man, it will be Georgey.
And onto the next . . . I am currently reading The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald.


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